Defensive Omnivore Bingo originally by Sean Bonner

1. The classic: “but where do you get your protein?”

A classic joke to start (is my sense of humour bad or is my sense of humour bad?): How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know, but where do you get your protein?

Seriously? This one always amazes me, not because people are curious, but because they don’t seem to gear the grey matter up before the question departs their mouthbits.  Who taught you meat is the only source of protein? Some of the best sources of protein in the world are vegan, and they don’t contain the nasty saturated fat quantities associated with what people tend to consider one of the best sources of protein: red meat.

In fact many people actually get too much protein. I’m gobsmacked that someone who eats a fry up for breakfast (eggs + bacon + sausage), a burger for lunch, and a steak for dinner, has the nerve to say anything to me about my protein intake (a frquently encountered vision I witness on family visits to the states). Slow down, buddy, because Atkins generally forgot to mention all that fat in fact leads to heart disease. So, in short, meat is not your only protein source, period.

2. But cows need to be milked…

You’re right. An engorged breast isn’t a nice thing, so it’s a good thing those little baby cows are there to ease the mother’s burden.

Oh, wait.

Have you ever seen a cow nursing her young in a natural environment? The udders are nowhere near as bloated. The fact is, we force pregnancy upon the females and then take her young so we can drink her breast milk (what happens to the calves is a whole different story of course).  Cows do need to be milked, and it’s the process of breast feeding her young which is the answer.

3. Some sort of passive aggressive statement implying how vegans are such a nuissance and do nothing but argue their cause.

I do recall my 14 year old vegetarian self so I know this can be the case, but here’s the thing: most veg*ns don’t bring it up unless they have to.

In fact I’d go as far as saying most such conversations arise from a passing statement by the veggie which is then blown into a big bang style issue by the resident omnivore. I make a real effort to not boast about my ethical choices outside of my own home, but I can’t tell you the number of snarky comments and accusations I’ve encountered from people the second they find what what I don’t eat.

Who’s being the passive aggressive nuissance?

4. But what do you eat?!

I’ll admit that when I became vegetarian at the age of 12, my diet was ridiculous. But let’s think about this a step deeper: was my diet really any healthier before that change? If you want to argue this question in health terms, I think it’s fair to say if you don’t eat healthy as an omnivore it’s not surprising if you follow poor eating habits as a veggie too.

If you want to argue this question on flavour and variety, that’s a different story. It goes without saying that when you remove an item from an array of others then you have fewer options. Technically.

If you do question what we eat, however, please consider how often do you evaluate your own food choices. A lot of people don’t believe me when I say I can go a couple of months without repeating a meal. The reason I do this is because I choose to see doors opening in the face of change; most vegans I know eat a greater variety of foods and are more open to trying new dishes than anyone I’ve met who genuinely can’t fathom what I eat.

So if you’re really asking this question then I’d like to set you a challenge to cook a new meal once a week, and a vegan one to boot. It doesn’t have to be fancy, nor does it have to be epic in preparation. Broaden your horizons. I promise it won’t hurt much.

5. So that’s why you’re so skinny

Dude, don’t say this out loud. Think it and look up the possibilities because they’re there, but don’t say it out loud. Just think about it.

If you do, be prepared for, well, stuff. Real insert foot in mouth moments are a possibility. Right at that moment an overweight vegan partner will step out from behind the wall you hadn’t noticed was there until now. Or you will die a death of too much vegan cake because said vegan will need to prove to you that vegan junk food is beyond possible (I can’t tell you how many vegans I know who gained weight after ditching dairy, and they put it all down to learning to bake).

To the thin veggies this sort of statement can often come across as a cloaked “huh, no wonder you’re so waifish and pale” and to those who are dealing with weight issues it’s downright insulting. Don’t get me started on that PETA ad, either (and yes, I’m one of those vegans who doesn’t like PETA much).

As a child I was often exposed to the horror that is microwaved “baked” potatoes, a travesty which, in my opinion, is one to compete with that of the most audacious crimes in this world (like using apostrophe’s incorrectly- hello mister greengrocer). Har har.

It wasn’t until I moved to Britain that I realised it was possible to achieve restaurant style potatoes at home, baked spuds with crispy skins and a smooth and creamy centre. Microwaves may save time, but they make a potato taste like… err a microwaved potato to be precise. I’m a snob. I also don’t own a microwave.

So anyway, as a child I also loved to consume boxed twice baked potatoes. Layer the fact that I didn’t know real baked potatoes were possible on top of this tragic aspect of my youth and it makes sense why I didn’t realise until recent years that not only could you make your own oven baked potato, but that it’s also possible to make homemade twice baked potatoes! Life is miraculous and, yes, I’m American.

Recipe Notes

If you’re looking for an easy comfort food then twice baked potatoes should be an obvious maybe on your list of potential meals. Try this vegan version served with a nice salad or on their own (my general rule is one whole baked potato is an adequate meal). The yoghurt adds a creamy richness to the potatoes while the miso and sherry impart a very mild Eastern influence. Should you omit the latter ingredients, some extra salt may be worth chucking in (and maybe some extra yoghurt too).

Don’t feel limited to the ingredients I’ve chosen for this recipe. Try vegan yoghurt and fresh chives (for a mock sour cream and chives flavour), or your favourite fake cheddar with facon bits.

But how do you get creaminess without the cream?

You’d be surprised what cashews can do, baby! This isn’t an original concept as many a dairy free souls have discovered the value of nuts as an ice cream base, but I’m all about spreading the love. This is a great vegan ice cream to fool dairy fans, and it’s divine with a dollop of peanut butter on top.

Psst, if you’re curious about the stuff that looks like marshmallow fluff stuff, that’s Bryanna Clark Grogan’s marshie fluff (thanks, Bryanna). Talk about fun to make. Talk about sugar high. Talk about… well, I think vegans could talk about marshmallow fluff quite a lot, come to think of it.

Recipe Notes

Okay, so I’ve got one of those annoying frozen drink blenders and the base is pretty much permanently sealed on. This means there’s always a whole load of liquid I can’t get out, especially if it’s a thick blend like this is. Here’s a tip: reserve 60ml (1/4 cup) of the soy milk and after you’ve poured the ice cream base out, chuck the remaining liquid in and swish around to help get the rest of the mix out.

Oh, and if you’ve got a blender which errs on the side of shite and you hate lumpy bits then you can strain the base to filter out any potential cashew hanger-onners.

One of my favourite meals, this delightfully rich stew combines two middle eastern staples to create a mouthwatering stew of  aubergine (eggplant) and chickpeas. A full-bodied tomato sauce complemented by tangy pomegranate molasses, zesty lemon and the indespensable garlic (and ingredient of which, in my opinion, you can never have too much), is what makes this dish so unique. It’s simple to make, delicious to eat, and filling to boot!

The Captain (my partner’s newly chosen nickname, a preference over being called “dad” in relation to our four legged children) isn’t so keen on this dish, but I think that’s because I’m really only 50% devoted to him. The other half of my love is pretty much wholly directed toward chickpeas and I think el capitán is just a little jealous and defensive is all.

But honestly, isn’t there room for both a man and a legume in a woman’s life? Sheesh.

Enjoy your weekend!

It’s time for a killer vegan breakfast treat.

I’ve been feeling a bit of a cold the past week, not to mention the fact that I’ve hit the inevitable monthly mark on the calendar where my stomach views the world as an all you can eat pig out. These things combined are treacherous (ask my partner, whose finger I nearly bit off on Saturday whilst trying to devour food between his fingers) because they both make me feel the need to eat. Okay, not just eat, but eat a whole lot of everything. Specifically this is a time when I crave a good vegan breakfast, but I also had some samosa skins I needed to use.

And I mean, come on, who hates a fry up? And who hates deep fried? Now imagine combining the two. For realz. Vegan breakfast in a deep fried parcel!

I’ve taken all the best bits of a vegan fry up (my favourite parts of a vegan breakfast anyway): mushrooms, scrambled tofu and facon, and mashed them together into a filling for a samosa. If you have different breakfast favourites, by all means use them instead. Vegan sausages crumbled, tempeh, spinach, you name it and I bet it’d be kick-arse in these samosas. The samosa skins in this recipe were bought, but you can also make your own samosa pastry if buying them pre-packaged isn’t an option.

Mushrooms are a vegetable I never enjoyed until I was an adult. In fact it wasn’t until a few years of my partner obsessing over them that I decided they may be worth trying. Now I’m truly converted and, while they aren’t in my top ten, I won’t ever turn my nose up at the thought of a mushroom centric meal.

A few weeks ago we had a meal out and he had the vegan mushroom soup, a deliciously creamy blend of rich mushrooms with a genuinely creamy texture. This is my take on the concept, and I’m pretty sure I can promise it’ll win the heart of any mushroom lover.

Perfect for party snacks and easy enough for even the most unskilled amateur kitchenista, these vegan crackers are perfect with drinks and light food. Guests will be impressed you made crackers from scratch (hey, you don’t have to tell them the ridiculous simplicity factor). Try sprinkling with toasted sesame seeds for added flair.

I made a variation of these for a vegan cheese and wine party I attended a few weeks ago (along with this blue cheese dip, both of which seemed to go down fairly well.

I generally place the okara in muslin and press as much liquid out as possible before storing the pulp in the refrigerator, sealed. I’ve never had any issues cooking with okara based on this initial prep, but I realise it’s difficult to follow a recipe when the liquid content of your okara may be slightly different than mine.

For that reason, I’ve decided to begin using dried okara in any recipes I write; below is the method for drying.

How to dry okara

1. Preheat your oven to around 100 C (210 F). The exact temperature isn’t important; you just want a low heat.
2. Place a mesh colander over a large bowl and line the colander with thin muslin. If you’re not worried about saving the soy milk you squeeze out then you can eliminate the use of the bowl (but it’s good to save for cooking).
3. Place your okara in the muslin, bundling the fabric up around the pulp. Squeeze as hard as is humanly possible in order to extract as much liquid is possible.
4. Turn the now somewhat dried pulp out into an oven pan and spread as thinly and evenly as you can. Place in the oven, mixing every 15-20 minutes until the okara has dried out. This could take an hour or 4 hours depending on how much okara is on your baking sheet. For this reason I recommend re-reading the bit about spreading as thinly as possible. Use a second tray if need be.
5. Once it’s dry, remove the okara from the oven and allow to cool. Place the crumbs in a blender or food processor to break up and store in an air tight container.

It’s oyster, not meat!

Anyone who knows me can attest to my obsession with Southeast Asia, my own personal respite from the never-warm-enough climate of Greatish Britain. I’ve yet to visit the country as a practising vegan, but even the vegetarian diet seemed tricky during my travels. Very little dairy is used, so it wasn’t so much the typical “is there rennet in the cheese” issue as it was the argument that fish is not, in fact, vegetarian (which reminds me, there’s a word for that: pescetarian. Yes, that’s right. Vegetarians don’t eat fish).

I could only take so many arguments regarding the “fact” that oysters don’t count as meat, so I’d settle for simple pasta to avoid conflict and chance. My most recent visit, however,  introduced me to some vegetarian-friendly establishments I’d yet to try previously. Thus began my love affair with the region’s cuisine, my constant attempt to get it right in my own kitchen. And honestly, making vegan Thai food isn’t difficult at all.

A sexist meal?

You wouldn’t be the first to question the title of this Thai dish, pondering the whereabouts of its female counterpart. “Down with this patriarchal snack,” you might say, but the seemingly most frequently told story speaks quite loudly for feminism (albeit slightly on the passive aggressive side if you ask me, which you probably didn’t). It goes something like this: A mother is disgusted with her son in law’s arsey behaviour and serves him these eggs as a metaphorical representation of what’s going to happen to his man vegetables if he doesn’t snap to it.

And with that, here’s the recipe.

I’m on a constant quest to find things to do with leftover okara as it’s something in which I’m usually swimming (so if you live near Crawley and ever want some, just give a shout). Here’s an easy and tasty recipe using okara for a vegan style omelette, a filling way to start off any day! Or end it. I’m all about the midnight snacks, you know.

Recipe Notes

I use okara which is left as a byproduct of making soy milk in my Soy Quick maker. First I allow the okara to cool and then I bundle it in thin muslin and squeeze and much milk out as possible, leaving me with a clump of broken down soybeans which is still just wet enough to stick together. I’m telling you this just so you have an idea of the liquid content of the okara before you set out making this yummy vegan omelette!

Try any filling ingredients that take your fancy, but the cheez and onion is a good combination. If you’ve got a cast iron skillet, I high recommend cooking the onions on that for nom factor.